I won’t miss winter

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the petals had to fall,or change?
into new leaves, early green.
the breeze brings dust alongside.
intensified, with the wheelers will.
The sun, more near, daringly rude
Dry tap, dry days
June is not far….
I yawn thinking that.
Spring melt in the scorching sun.
I can’t hate it…for
winter is still bitter in memory.

  • Petals (lyricpoetlady.wordpress.com)

A little uptight…


I am feeling horrible today. Was all good..usual till Something flicker my mind and the old rage raise inside. Small things, simple words can matter so much, mean in such piercing and provoking way that a  namby pamaby like me can’t do anything more than agree with tears…but its anger first.

I had settle down all my issue to myself, didn’t talk about it to anyone, not even to the one who needed to hear. Had lock all “why” in  some corner inside, and assure myself it never happened, the worst part. Console myself, whenever the breezes pass by me , control my emotion that had raise its head like a unsatisfied kid when his curiosity is left  uncleared.

It hurts to be left  with no answer, in vain all to yourself to detect all sh*ts of  what went wrong, what did I do, what you felt, then and now? And I comfort myself  in anticipation. I try all the positive mantras, retian hard in hard times, sustain the pain. And after months of my “getting over” practice, I realized I have reached no where in the process. It still hurts me and I am not over this getting over thing…fooling myself..They say “your mind can be fooled so fool it with all lies and make your heart believe what you want to believe” . I tried, thought I was able..but no a simple word can just blow all my efforts….seems like I dont rule myself..my silly emotion and confused head do.

How can I be so weak,such a emotional crunch…that anyone..any word.. any thing can break me..why cant I just move on…why should I get involve with such tangling thoughts knowing that they are just nothing more than brain sucker.

I hate feeling this way…I just hate it.

Sufi Soothing in mundane midnight

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I came across this song (video) in youtube and I am still listening to this soothing voice. Its late,  yet I am awake. This song is holding me and for strange reason I am wishing for a rainfall in this  March midnight. This song is taking me there, in imagination,  where I am standing near the window, staring the rain. I don’t know if I am Missing  Dear ones, Lost ones or Desire ones but I am longing for unknown…
Strange I know but you can’t help thoughts, can you?
I am soaked up in the song, in depth…
I am letting myself ramble within the melody, Memory.

Mora Piya Moh Se Bole Na
This very popular song is originally sang by SHAFQAT AMANAT ALI  but I don’t know why this voice is doing magic on me. Little kid Moon, a Pakistani singer….I am speechless, wordless…for this Sufi retreat).

Passing by thoughts

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If shortcut is my escape
The shop is 5 minutes far
I don’t want but I have to pass,
No not the full blossom plum tree,
But the forbidden path,
Where stand the “argued” tree
the same naked tree,
In which, now white flowers are all I can see,
Cruel winter that had shed the last leaf,
Now its spring that heals the deciduous tree
Tiny flowers, barely leaving any branch,
White is all the color it need, it has.
Wind pluck the petals…leave to the narrow lane.
My feet ..ahh I am welcome in the forbidden land.
Your petals, I try not to step in,
And I won’t pick the future fruit.
We are not allowed, the kids of “not talking” neighbors,
Who grew together.
Playing hide and seek (from our parents however)
Around the same plum tree,
making garlands of clover flower,
That was fun remember!!!
Sneaking through the same ground…years after
I try to hide,
From the rival eyes.
The enmity our grandfathers had…still do…
If only they can see… plum blossom wining the chill,
It didn’t die, stand youthful still,
If only they can feel,
Years after the fight,
We are still part of our ground….
I reach the shop….
O…Just passing by thoughts.

spring is here….

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When winter has finally decided to pack up its chill & cold and leave for a warm vacation for itself far towards south (I don’t know), Buds  are ready to blossom, some have already.  I see spring popping out right from there, from between the soft core of  lovely petals wrapped flower.

So what is so best about Spring..o yes the colorful environment,  sunshine, the breeze and everything..( I would  also add funky flipflop and  loose garments into the list..). ..The morning especially in Spring is my most favorite moment. The early morning dew drops  glittering on the grass, you know you can see rainbow in them!!! It still has a little bit of chill left, a reminder that winter was there, just a day before!!!

This whole winter, I didn’t wake up early in the morning “to greet the fog”.  But now  I can get out of my  “Topi” and shocks..( Shocks really sucks) and take a quick walk….( No no I don’t wake up at 5:00 am and jog, sweating like in a hot day crisis). Our place is lucky with sceneric view and  GREEN trees and the temples nearby…that  always make you wake up with “Jai Shamboo” chorus..(not by “bhajan toli” ) but of the  half population of Bkt bazar who apparently seems to have all the fatness origin disease  and run 2km (even in winter) just to melt their adipose  and get some fresh air in  “sallaghari” (I hate their “laughter yoga” though).   I just take a short cut from a narrow path and get some pleasant air….(by the time I start of my route..My part of air is blended with “Tarkari” ko smell…lazy I know). But ya my whole point of bragging about my “morning walk” is just to say that spring mornings are best thing to experience…and ya without shocks!!!.(bare feet in dew kissed clover leafs!!!)

In the bright breezy day, I love the view….under the clean sky,  plum and peach tree or better call white and pink painted big bouquet around my neighborhood are posing to everyone’s eye…..”click me..shutterbugs”.. (I don’t have Canon..or Nikon…). you can get out of the heavy puffy jackets and sweaters..feel the warm sun in your skin…and breeze at once..you don’t feel cold!!!. The wind pluck the tiny flowers from the full blossom trees and bring it  to our balcony..I love the warm welcome….

Winter has finnaly dust off from our skin now, yes spring is here.

Let me breath….

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Let me breath my air
If I could just catch my part of breeze,
I would let my soul breath.

Its a endless road to walk when its love,
No, love ain’t gonna die,
life gets a wrap though.

Life is a test every next day and not
everyday is a sunny day, but yet its a beauty,
dim or bright there is a sun everyday.

The soul is tired and want to rest
but the eyes are hungry to see another day,
No its not  desire but greed to live;
Where as long as I can cry there is sea to relate and
As long as I can smile there is you to be blame.

 (Any good title suggestion..:P…)

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