My last post was about disconnection with writing and, it was August, last August, I recall those 4 months of not coming here as to write but how same my feelings are still about writing, This still is the same phase of not connecting with words, I haven’t write anything as in like real writing, which as per is my talking via writing, I must have done some hundreds of pages with formal writeups and then some not-so-creative contents and yes entire webpages, but they are  banal, they don’t make sense to me.

And now I am here trying to sum up the 4 months of what happen in the gone 2013

  • Well i gave exam with such nervousness that i never knew before,
  • I made a taxi driver drive me inside Exam center because i was late for the most scary exam of my life till then, and being late had already worsen my anxiety,I stumbled upon and later felt relieved, that I could sustain 4 hrs of exam hall with some actual answer to write.
  • I now am aiming to major in same subject this year (I am surprised for myself)
  • All festival went usual.
  • Oh before that, my job ended on a mutual decision, but I have some grudge left
  • Then I got another offer, I took the project, paid the highest sum ever and then could not afford to buy my need.
  • I manage to buy my own ride, with daddy’s bigger hand on it
  • Birthday, I had to bear it this time as well, it was worst this time
  • I am losing heart on things that I always wanted to do, I might leave something soon!  A wise mind won’t do such stupidity but if you don’t have heart on it, how long can you persist?
  • My friends are finally anchoring to their shore, I am still sailing, I am drifting, or they?
  • I feel lonely many times, I don’t want new company/ies
  • I fear losing youthness!
  • Then I find hope, I see thin hope of me doing what I have forever wanted, I have strong feeling I will achieve my goals somehow, I feel so and then by knowing it, I also feel that all other things I wish to happen won’t happen, I just have strong instinct somehow, but I still pray those wishes to come true!
  • Today, on new year day, I learn to ride through the slope, solo..:)
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